The Lost Knight of the Void

And what the darkness does to one's mind

Recap: Our narrator is a young maiden, unable to say her own name and cursed to wander the fairy woods until the spell on her is broken. She is followed by a talking fox (also cursed), and they are trying to find a way to break their spells as they cross from the North to the Southlands through an underground tunnel.

How my eyes longed for a single ray of sunlight.

Fox and I were traveling through the Deep Underground with our guide, Leon, and two other companions, a wood elf named Terek and a dragon called Jaram.

Leon said it would take about two weeks to reach the other side of the Void, the massive chasm we were crossing by means of a tunnel system below the earth. The abyss under the abyss, if you like.

But I tell you that time doesn’t exist in the dark.

Our endless night was only punctuated by the flame of Leon’s torch and the glow of our dragon, who had fire in his belly. I was desperate for the light of day, for the pink hue of a sunrise, for the noonday sun illuminating every blade of grass, for the orange smear across the horizon at eveningtime.

Then, after an indefinite period of toil, we saw it.

A circle of light, white hot.

The surface.

Leon said it was less than a day away.

As we picked up our pace, I scrambled over a set of rocks, lost my footing, and slid several feet backward into something cold and hard.

I pushed my hand against it — it was not stone, but metal.

And I heard a groan.

“Who’s there?” I said, startled, backing away.

Leon drew his torch near.

The flame revealed a knight in full armor, his face obscured by the visor of his helmet. He was sitting on a rock just near me, adjacent to the path to the sunlight.

“Sir, are you all right?” I asked. “Can you move?”

“I am well, thank you,” said the knight in an exhausted voice.

I had already met a knight who refused to acknowledge the state of his wounds, so I knew this might take some time. But the circle of light filled me with a sense of urgency.

“You do not sound well,” I replied. “Do you need help getting to your feet? We are on our way to the surface, which is just yonder. Surely you can see the light?”

“I can see it,” the knight answered without moving. “Perhaps I will make my way there in time.”

“Are you hurt?” I asked.

“Alas, no,” said the knight. “But my spirit is vanquished. There is nothing wrong with my limbs. But my heart disregards all desire or obligation. For I have seen that my work is vanity, a chasing after the wind.”

“So you’re refusing to head to the surface because you believe your work doesn’t matter?” said Fox, trotting up next to us.

“Nothing matters,” said the knight. “I have seen that the race goes not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, nor bread to the wise, nor riches to the intelligent, nor favor to those with knowledge, but time and chance happen to them all. Can anyone operate in such a world? For no difference can be made. It is all just an exercise in futility.”

He sounded deeply distraught. Meanwhile, my distress was growing, for I hungered to see the sky and put the light in my eyes again. How could he sit here in this darkness and not feel the urge to move forward?

“Sir,” I asked, “why did you come here? No one becomes lost in the Void by accident.”

“Lady,” he answered, “my name is Sir Col, and I came this way as part of a quest. I wanted to be like Sir Gamel, one of the knights of old, who slew the great sea dragon that held captive the people of Garden Island. I longed to rescue the forsaken and uplift the needy. And I heard that many people become lost in this region, so I sought them out. But, fair lady, do you know how many people don’t want to be saved?” He chuckled. “I was foolish. I thought I could help everyone; but I cannot say that I made any difference at all. And now I can’t even help myself.”

I looked around at my companions. I could tell that Terek, who yearned to be a warrior, was in great consternation over this knight’s predicament. Jaram and Leon waited patiently to see what we would do. Looking in Fox’s eyes, I could see his thoughts: We ought to leave him. But he said nothing.

I looked up again at the beckoning beam of light. I sighed.

“What a hard journey you have been on,” I said, taking a seat next to the knight. And I just sat there with him in silence.

Fox took a few steps forward and sat on the other side of the knight.

Slowly, Terek and Leon wandered over and took a seat in front of us, completing our circle. Even Jaram leaned his giant head into the alcove where we sat, softly exhaling warm air in deep cycles of breath.

We stayed there for a little while together without speaking.

Suddenly, Sir Col began to weep.

He took off his helmet and brushed his eyes with the palm of his hand. Then he looked at me, terribly forlorn, but awake with emotion.

“I thought that I had a purpose,” he said.

I put my hand on his shoulder. “Sir, you still do. Haven’t you been knighted? Don’t you still have a king to serve?”

“But what if I do nothing important?” he asked, sniffing. “What if I don’t make any difference at all?”

“You are trying to measure something that cannot be measured by you or me,” I answered. “How can you possibly know what difference you’ll make? You may not do all that you intend to do; but that doesn’t mean that what you do doesn’t matter. Haven’t you been sent? Aren’t you still doing the king’s work? For if he said, ‘Go,’ and you went, your obedience is satisfactory. Your purpose stands. You are free to do your work — free from the burden of results.”

“Free from the burden of results,” Sir Col said, wiping his eyes again. “I did not think of it that way.”

“Speaking of results,” Fox piped up, “we are less than a day from the surface. And you might feel much better upon seeing the sun, good knight. The darkness down here does strange things to one’s mind.”

“A hot cup of tea by a nice lake, and you will be right as rain,” said Leon. “That’s what I’m looking forward to.”

“Oh, and a breakfast of biscuits and honey!” said Terek.

“Also bacon,” said Fox. “Lots of bacon.”

“And a fine meadow to roll around in,” said Jaram, with a dragon-ish smile. “That will do it.”

Sir Col rose from his place, and we all stood up with him.

“Then we must go,” he said with confidence in his voice. “We will reach the surface today.”

All became cheerful and jovial then. Encouraged, we continued our trek through the tunnel toward the bright opening that became wider and wider to our eyes.

There were far more wonders and dangers up ahead, but with the light, I knew I could survive them.

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