You’ll Never Gnome

What we learned while lost in the Great Woods

After our exhilarating escape from the enchanted domain of the Piper, Fox and I found ourselves lost in the Great Woods of the North, a gray place where the trees were so large and dense that they obscured the sky.

We had already spent a couple days at a nearby village outpost, the home of young Alexander, my recent companion. In pursuit of his loyal dog, he had helped me release an army of animals from the magic that had kept them enslaved on the Piper’s land.

You can’t imagine a happier sight than Alexander being reunited with his dog. They were the best of friends.

Fox and I were certainly on positive terms, but I could tell that he was confused by what had happened. I told him that he’d been trapped by a terrible spell.

“And you came back for me?” he asked, puzzled. “You didn’t simply go on?”

“You have been my great companion on this long journey,” I tried to explain. “How could I leave you there in the grip of evil?”

“But you yourself were not being harmed,” he said. “You could have walked away freely.” He reacted with similar surprise when I spared him from being trampled by the Wounded Knight’s horse.

“Wasn’t it the same for you on the Forever Bridge, when you saved me from disaster?” I asked. From the unsettled look on his furry face, he had clearly not reflected on his actions.

Once a nobleman from an austere, unloving family, Fox had long been told that it was smart to fend only for himself.

“Thank you for not leaving me,” he said finally.

“See, now we have become friends,” I said with a smile, hugging his neck. “A tough nut to crack, you are.”

His ears perked up, and he shook out his fur.

Soon the nauseating magic of my curse compelled us to return to the wilderness. Though I knew the way to the Piper’s domain, I didn’t know how to find the path out of the Great Woods.

We wandered hopelessly for several days until we found a thriving haven of gnomes.

All I really knew about gnomes is that they were collectors of knowledge, absorbing learnings of all kinds and spending their days in debate. Excellent foragers, they lived off every edible root, plant, flower, and fruit of the forest, trading with travelers for spices and other resources when needed.

Their society was well-structured and seemed quite friendly. They ushered us into their village of treehouses and burrows, asking us thoughtful questions about where we were from, what we’d been through, and what we might have to trade. They even hosted us as guests of honor at a village-wide dinner, where there were pies of all kinds of berries, even ones I could not identify.

Many of them dazzled us with their comprehensive knowledge of all the beings of our land, from trolls to sprites, goblins, giants, billy goats, and dragons. Some gnomes were so learned, I could not understand their sayings. But I was deeply impressed. Fox was a skeptic, but he kept his ears open.

From the gnomes we discovered something they regarded with great sacredness, which was called the Way of the Wood. It was the path that led out of the forest to the Upper Plateau and the Wild Mountains.

Some said there was only one Way of the Wood. Others claimed that the Way of the Wood was many paths, and we could select whichever one we wanted, and it would be the right path.

Over our days with the gnomes, we passed many hours watching them debate. We realized they were split into a number of factions. Each faction had its own beliefs, behaviors, and even attire. One faction wore reed bracelets. Another wore wooden sandals. Still another made a practice of touching every corner of a threshold with their walking stick before entering a dwelling.

We asked some of the gnomes to draw us their map of the Way of the Wood so we might exit to the Upper Plateau. We received a variety of complex drawings that did not match each other.

Some even refused to draw unless they were compensated with gold. They said the Way was mysterious and only known by them, and we would have to complete certain tasks and pay money to learn the secret. Some said the Way was so mystical that it could never be known.

In the midst of all this talk, we spotted a gnome who regularly cleaned up after the other gnomes. He quietly collected trash, washed dishes, distributed leftover food to the sick and hungry, and stayed out of the debates of the other gnomes.

“Sir gnome, can I confide in you?” I asked him one day. “We have received many maps regarding the Way of the Wood, and some still say we must earn our right to know it, that those maps are incomplete. Which path is correct? How will we know?”

The gnome exhaled and sat down next to us. He took a stick and began drawing in the dirt. His map consisted of one long straight line through the wood. Fox and I looked at one another, astonished.

“This is the Way of the Wood,” he said. “There is only one. Take any other path, and you will end up lost or in one of the waste places. Let your gaze be fixed straight ahead; do not turn to the right or to the left.”

“How can it be that simple?” I asked.

“The truth often is,” said the gnome. “But there are many who seek to control the truth by complicating it with their own ways. They make it hard to find the path to life outside this Wood. Pay all that money, take all those turns, and do you know where you will end up? Right back here, listening to their elaborate rules and practices and paying all your gold. My lady, good fox, do not heed them. Take the straight way; it will lead you out of here.”

“Our deepest thanks!” I said. “Shouldn’t we tell the others?” We had seen other travelers sitting in the circles of the gnomes.

“You can tell them, as I do; but once they have become entrenched in these groups, it is harder for them to believe you,” said the gnome. “Do you know why? They like to believe that the truth is hard to understand. It makes them feel powerful. They can say, ‘I am not lost, I know what I am doing,’ and they get enamored with their own ideas of the Way. Soon they are not looking for a way out; they are seeking a way in, and that is all they want.”

Fox and I pondered over this. And we did try to tell the travelers. But it was just as the kind gnome said; they only told us about their reed bracelets or the new secret circles they had been invited into. Eventually, and with sadness, we returned to the kind gnome and told him we were ready to leave.

He pointed to where the path started.

“Perhaps we will meet you again,” I said, “in a place where we can see the sky.”

He smiled, which is rare for gnomes.

“Indeed you shall,” he replied. He handed me a folded piece of parchment. “Read this when you are ready to cross back over the Void to return to your own land.”

Fox and I thanked him again, then we took the straight way through the Wood.

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